College Essay

I should have posted it earlier but I kept forgetting until I read this amazing book today. So, anyway, here it is.
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Blogging and Writing

By Xinyi Lin

Although I can’t say for sure whether such a thing exists, I am not a “born writer.” I’ve always struggled with writing, even in my native language Chinese. For some reason, the clever metaphors and perfect adjectives just don’t flow onto the paper naturally. As a student and a writer, I have always been encouraged by the teachers to keep a “writer’s journal,” but it wasn’t until my junior year when I began to seriously consider having—well—a digital journal.

So I started blogging.

In fact, I’ve had several blogs in the past, though none remained active for more than a month. I was clueless. After a while, there was just nothing to blog about anymore. One day, (and this could sound ridiculous) I had an epiphany. While writing an entry for my blog, I noticed I was editing, deleting, and fretting over the contents that could present me negatively. Although I started blogging because I wanted to record my memories and beliefs, I ended up ironically censoring my ideas because I did not want my writing, and me, to be perceived as immature or naïve. All this time, I had tried to use my words to convince people that I was “perfect.”

At the end of eleventh grade I was assigned an essay on the topic of writing. I had to discuss what I learned or thought about writing in general at that point of life. My mind wandered to the names of Hemingway, Tim O’Brien, Raymond Carver, and all those writers who have simple and yet profound styles of writing. I realized that there is no need for me to be someone I’m not—a linguistic virtuoso full of poetic expressions and ornate vocabulary. But I do have to be myself, not a persona. I have to be sincere and honest—with myself and my words.

With this exhilarating realization, I started anew with blogging. I filled my blog with candid thoughts without filtering out ideas here and there. Some posts are whiny; some are childish. But it’s okay. I think they represent different phases of my journey to adulthood, and one thing about adulthood that I must learn is how to confront and deal directly with my intrinsic weaknesses and flaws. At times I should even appreciate these imperfections, because they are exactly what make each of us interesting and unique.

That’s what my blog is about: a direct confrontation with my inner self, and an open conversation with my own mind. I hope, by writing down my thoughts in words, I can develop a more comprehensive view of the world, formulate a more cohesive set of beliefs, and, most importantly, acquire a better understanding of my true self.

So in my junior year, I opened a blog of words, composing a chronicle of my mind. And in that same year, I learned to write with honesty and plainness, for that is who I am.