The Sweetest Moment

Some things, I guess, can just melt your heart instantly. We hear about new moms talk about their affection for their cute babies all the time--and just how lovely and incredible these babies are. It sounded so cliche that I just didn't really care. Well, I have to admit that, after Julian is born, I'm experiencing all these cliches now. And one thing I learned from Julian is that the power of babies certainly goes beyond being adorable. The sweetest moment is when you play with them, they smile back. At this moment, you'd feel like everything is worth it. That you would do anything for them. I think what Julian "stimulates" in me is this hopefulness. I can't wait to see him grow up. I can't help but to imagine what his future would be like. In the past I might think that it's ridiculous for certain parents to want their children be what they want them to be, to not make the same mistakes they made blah blah blah...I completely understand now. Babies are like blank pieces of paper. I can't help but see them as clays..that can be molded into the most beautiful thing on earth. It almost feels like I can right all my wrongs if this baby grows up to be a better person or more successful than I am.

Well, first of all, Julian isn't my son. So he's not going to be raised the way I would like to raise my future child. Second of all, the rational part of me knows that it isn't healthy to be over-controlling. People should let children grow up naturally, whatever that means.

It's hard. But I enjoy the moment.