How Rich Does One Have to Get to be Not Poor?

Just like how girls always think they are fat, or not think enough, people always think they are poor, or not rich enough. But how rich does one have to get to be not poor? What happened tonight inspired me to look into this question and hopefully it will end up as a post for my public blog.

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Tonight at the dinner table, my mom asked me: "Tell me, why don't you think of making money as priority even though we are this poor?" She was talking about my decision to study humanities instead of subjects like business or medicine that would be more lucrative in future.

I didn't answer. I got up and left the kitchen. She repeated the question as I was about to go upstairs and added: "You know how my family was really poor before and your uncle [her brother] was determined to make money and he succeeded? Why aren't you like that? Tell me."

Suddenly I realized she was not joking. She was serious. I paused for a second, standing in the middle of the house, and went back to the kitchen and said:

"Do you seriously think you are that poor? Look at what you have, a three floor house, in suburb of New Jersey, TWO cars, THREE children, and one of them is going to college. You think this is what a poor person could have?"

My question is, how can a person like my mom and dad, who had no doubt gone through some extremely poor times, still think that they are "poor" now--and not just "normal" poor, but SO poor that it only makes sense for me to think of using my college degree to make as much money and as quickly as possible?

Just a couple of days ago I told Chris I knew I wouldn't earn much money in the future; all I want for myself is to be independent and not be a burden of my parents. Chris, ironically, commented that the only reason I was even saying things like that is because my parents gave me a comfortable life for me to feel secure enough to think this way.

I said, that's true.

My mom said, so you think we're not poor?

Unfortunately, I made a wrong move here by bringing up the people who live on food stamps. Immediately both my mom and dad chuckled with disdain:

"We were not going to bring this up but now you mentioned it...the people who use food stamps are MILLIONAIRES! They get cash, they don't pay taxes, they are much wealthier then we are! You know...." My mom started listing examples of her friends who are eligible for food stamps on paper but are actually pretty wealthy, at least by their standards.

My dad interrupted and said: "You know why America is not doing well? It's because all these rich people taking advantage of these social services!"

I left the kitchen while I could still hear them exchange with much amazement how I've changed. How my thoughts have changed overtime, or maybe it was "so suddenly". I could hear clearly enough because I was already on the stairs, but I yelled back anyway: "Is this what you want me to think? To fill my brain with? Money? Money money money? All the time?"

I did not even reflect on this episode at the dinner table until just now, more than four hours later. I was disillusioned. A little bit embarrassed. And a little lost as to what I should think. What is right.