麻辣教师GTO进行中...

因为作业而不得不暂停看这部老剧....

不过我必须写一两句....

我很清楚GTO是曾经风靡一时的漫画/动画/日剧...就是一直不知道为什么。学生与教师的题材并不是我的最爱，我也没抱太大的希望来看这部剧，纯粹是为了我的日剧补完计划而看的。。。并且，这部片子的模式是很容易猜到的：个性老师逐一开导问题学生。让我惊讶的是，这么老的GTO竟然能使我在该笑的时候大声笑，该被感动时流泪。在那些很明显的煽情段落，我的泪水竟然不由自主的流了下来。回头想想，那些煽情感人的片段也没有什么特别的，为什么会感触到我呢？真是让人搞不懂啊。不过我算是明白了为什么GTO会如此红火。

Speechless.

Recently my dad is obsessed with this drama about Qin Shihuang or Shihuangdi, the ruthless first emperor of China. This morning I found him watching it again so I half-jokingly said: "wow you're addicted to this drama." Guess what my dad respond? He replied with confidence and disdain: "This is history! Do you understand? Do you even know who Qin Shihuang is? Hm! (did not even leave time for me to respond) You call yourself Chinese? Qin Shihuang is the first emperor of China...(blah blah blah blah)."

I stood speechless. Seriously? How can you get so much pride from learning something historical from a DRAMA? and plus, WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHO QIN SHIHUANG IS? Does he think that this is some kind of special and rare knowledge or something? And you know what, I actually learn about Qin Shihunag from real BOOKS, not these dramas that are known to exaggerate and make up things. Chinese historical dramas are not really known to be accurate and objective. Personally I would never hold too much belief in Chinese historical dramas. And here we have, a fourty five+ year old man, taking so much pride in this "knowledge" of history that he learns from a drama, trying to make fun of me by labeling me as ignorant of some basic Chinese history that even my American classmates would know. Seriously?

The only conclusion I have is that my dad truly has problems. I'm glad I did not refute him or anything because the further demonstration of his ignorance would only drive me insane.

浅海与结花

一开始并没想到结花就会这样死去，所以并没感到多少的悲伤。等漂流教室结束后，才恍然发觉--结花已经死了，浅海是在孤独的开拓新世界。突然间，我似乎也感觉到了浅海的悲痛，但却说不上是什么样的悲痛。就算有十几个学生结伴，浅海还是得与孤独为伴吧。就差那么一点点他们就能在一起了。真是难以描述的凄惨啊。

浅海，虽然你并不是一个真实的人物，我希望你能战胜孤独。我希望你能开心。

Drifting Classroom - Long Love Letters

First of all--I spent the past two days doing nothing but watching "Long Love Letters" (or "Drifting Classroom"). It's worth it though. I am so inspired by the messages of this story that I think my life has changed because of it.

1) Live the moment.
It's obvious that "live the moment" will be the central theme of the story the moment Asami writes this phrase down on the blackboard. Asami says that you can't change the past, and you can't change the future. But you can change the present. Don't let opportunity slide--if you like someone, say it. If something has to be done--do it. Live the moment. Embrace the moment. Love it. Appreciate it. In the end, Asami's life in the present is changed by his living the present; so is his future.

2) Human Nature
It's surprising and hard to accept that the adult teachers are the first ones to "crack under pressure". On the other hand, I'm not opposed to the idea that adults are sometimes more vulnerable than children because they tend to have a much more rigid standard of values and a much more limited imagination. Survival of the fittest in the barren future requires an extraordinary ability to adapt, which is something more likely possessed by children, whose minds are as innocent as blank pieces of paper.

Moreover, "Drifting Classroom" makes another really important point: cooperation is paramount. In the story, the people who only think about themselves (ex. robbing or stealing other people's food, refuse to contribute to group efforts that might make the situation better) did not do so well. With limited food (even if they rob those from others), they alone cannot survive because food is going to run out eventually. The other group of students, who worked together, came up with innovations, worked arduously, and took care of each other. This is especially important when resources are scarce.

The story suggested that the reason the future of the world is like this is that once resources became scarce (due to deforestation, pollution, etc.), various nations began fighting one another for food and energy, eventually leading to nuclear war and such.

Out of fear of death, there are always people who are going to harm others in order to procure food for his own survival. But the most effective, beneficial way for survival in the long run is undoubtedly cooperation. Human beings are group animals (whatever you call it). We thrive under a community. Although there are always going to be exceptions, such as one really tough person surviving alone for a very long time, it is not going to be the case when applied to everyone. Moreover, what makes us different from most animals is that we are driven by love and compassion. We live because we want to be with somebody or something that we care. Even when forced to live alone, we are kept alive by the wish that someday we will meet the people and things that we love again. The thing can be as abstract as hope: the hope that someday your life will get better. I can't imagine anyone living just for the sake for living.

Frankly speaking, under desperate situations, I probably would have considered harming other people for my own survival if I hadn't watched this show; but now I know that this is not only harmful to other people, but also harmful to me. Self-destruction among groups can only lead to total extinction. My utopia is a world where homo sapiens can overlook one another's religious, cultural, economical, or whatever differences, tolerate these differences, understand them, respect them--so that we can live together harmoniously.

Another thing is, in the end, Misaki wrote in her letter to the people living in the present that "you might feel it's good enough that you're living comfortably at this moment, even if the world is destined to turn into deserts in the future. But future is open: there are endless possibilities. Even in this world of nothingness, we're doing the impossibles. Even in this world, we still have hope."

She's saying that our actions do matter (however obvious this might sound). You never know what's going to happen, and what your actions will bring about.

3) Environment
The original author of the mango "Drifting Classroom" says that when we talk about the future, we tend to think of flying cars, laser rays, human-looking robots, and all kind of conveniences, but we cannot forget that these conveniences and any advance in technology come with sacrifices. The future is not guaranteed to be as bright as a lot of sci-fi novels pictured. It is not impossible that the future would turn out to be deserts. Endless deserts. It's nice to see people making an effort to conserve the environment nowadays, but this effort is much too minuscule at this moment. Plus, it's one thing knowing that we should conserve energy and protect the environment, and another to actually do it.

Sarah Moore.

I took this picture by accident. I was supposed to focus on Jonathan Portee but the auto-focus thing focused on Sarah instead. I thought she looked stunning, like a goddess. Curtis was picking on the makeup, the flatness of her face, blah blah blah. But I thought she looked very pretty. I would certainly be attracted if I were a guy.

he's and she's

Pogie Style:

- I should start talking to him. Four years--this has been so immature.
- I imagine myself meeting him accidentally ten years later; then we might begin talking like nothing has ever happened.
- She needs to stop stalking and thinking about and talking to him.
- He is a handsome jerk.
- He is just a jerk.
- His "Life is Wonderful" is so wonderful.
- I want him to be my son.
- I want him to be my husband.
- I want him to be my prom date.
- I feel so bad for writing this stupid thing and not doing INTEL for her.

To be continued...

So I hit the "submit" button.

8:16PM 11/15/09

Ten seconds ago I hit the submit button of my last part of application to Barnard. Before I did that, I announced it to my entire family plus Amy: "I'm going to hit the submit button!"--except no one cared. Oh well. This is a historic, personal moment.

So yeah.

《魔王》里领给诗织的最后一封信。

我从11年前的那天开始就一直孤独的生活着
信赖 羁绊 这些感情早已下定决心舍弃
甚至包括爱情和对他人的关怀也是一样
但我并没有做到
因为你总是注视着我
渐渐地感受到你温暖的关心
慢慢在融化我心里冰冷的刺
是你让我知道了
舍弃自己最重要的东西是多么的愚蠢
……

诗织 对不起
还有 谢谢你这段日子以来的陪伴。

A kinda horrifying scene from Grey's Anatomy long time ago...

A Prisoner on Death Row:

One Monday I slit this woman's throat.
I had been thinking about it for a while,
dreaming about it.
and one Monday, I just...
I had to do it.
I just...
really wanted to draw a knife across her neck.
And I-I thought it would be terrifying,
or..or sad or something, but it wasn't.
it was just...
kind of fun...
so i did two more on Tuesday,
another two on Wednesday
i was gonna go for three on Thursday
'cause I liked the alliteration,
But I got caught so I didn't

Could I get some Jell-o?
Or is that bad before surgery?

怀念北推。

在我还在小学里的时候，我曾是网易北京社区推理小说版的常客。我们叫它北推，BT。当我刚加入的时候北推正如日中天。不过有点像第二代。有一群“老”网友，像流星一类的，经常被BT的人提到但是我很少见他们发贴。这些是传说般的人物。然后我们这一“代”，对比同样是异常的熟悉。我们清楚彼此的写作风格，甚至彼此的个性。我们亲切的用网名称呼彼此，而不是楼主，楼上，等等。每个人都有自己的特点。我们有各自的网名写各自的推理小说。我们就像相识好多年的朋友一样一起探索推理的世界。在这个版里有许多爱情的开始（菊花和悠蓝），有许多爱情的结束（紫影和紫镜），也有一些最终修成正果（小草和杨）。 当时我还只不过是一个小学生，傻傻的什么也不懂。只是在一旁看着，观望着，为北推高兴着，悲伤着。我好崇拜这些我素不相识，却极有才华的人们。我好想念那段时间。好想好想。

在这里用杨的一个短文来总结：

杨威利为BT做过什么---整理BT历史——杨威利 [yuntaoo]


历史的长河总是会淹死许多人，但是他们留下的种种事迹却影响了一代又一代的BTers。
首先，让我们默哀三分钟，为了那些走了的BT们。


2002年年中。
2002-07-31 09:15:09。就是这个时候我加入了BT。在此之前的那拨人都是BT的创始人。可惜大多都骑鹤归西了。我加入的时候是7月的最后一天。是我们这拨人中最晚的一个。幸好搭上了末班车。可以这样说，我们这拨人中有许多都是后来BT的主力军。可惜现在活蹦乱跳的没几个了。这个时候也是BT原创最活跃的时段之一。最出名的就是茶茶的《荒岛之蛇》和旗子的《风吹百合》。后来我写的那个不入流的短篇就是仿照茶茶的文笔写的。也用到了日本战国时期的一些东西。
茶茶、菊花、悠蓝、沙蓝、深蓝、、流星、迷迭香、紫影、媚影、荆棘鸟、压抑的亡魂、枭影、旗帆、木须龙、bearbear（小熊）、蓝眸的恶魔、祁风、束缚与神秘主义、千湄、绛雪ぷ冰天、逆の鹰、天使情差、基督山伯爵、剑心追雪、布莉吉、紫镜☆幽影、杨威利....现在我尽我的记忆写出了以上这些人。当然还有一些我没有记住的，请原谅了。现在看到这些名字，不由的使我心中泛起对那个时候的向往。那个时候灌水的人很少很少，大家都埋头搞原创和死亡推理。

http://club.163.com/viewElite.m?catalogId=385274&eliteId=385274_100e22ec5c7000b

Barnard Interview: Boils

Why do women torture themselves just to look pretty?
Who even invented heels, waxing, and such?

The Barnard interview was so-so. It wasn't fantastic but I did the best I could. What I mainly got from this trip are four boils (two huge ones on the big toes). These are not fun. Goddamn the poorly designed heels. I CAN walk in heels. It's the SHOES' fault. 0o0

pogie style entry

as november rolls in...

1. Barnard interview tomrw!
2. I should be nervous about #1, but instead I'm excited.
3. Still should practice, though.
4. He said he liked my college essay even the first time.
5. Lost my wallet for the third time within three years.
6. License was gone with the wallet. Plus 20 dollars. Plus library cards and such.
7. Mom was getting me a credit card but with the incident #6 this becomes shaky.
8. Looked at something that I should not have looked at. Although I don't necessarily feel "bad" for my actions...I just feel guilty. I guess that's what you feel when you do something you know is wrong.
9. Will look at something that I also should not look at if it's not looked at by someone else tomorrow.
10. Need to figure out more question to ask the Barnard interviewer.
11. Peace.

The Sweetest Moment

Some things, I guess, can just melt your heart instantly. We hear about new moms talk about their affection for their cute babies all the time--and just how lovely and incredible these babies are. It sounded so cliche that I just didn't really care. Well, I have to admit that, after Julian is born, I'm experiencing all these cliches now. And one thing I learned from Julian is that the power of babies certainly goes beyond being adorable. The sweetest moment is when you play with them, they smile back. At this moment, you'd feel like everything is worth it. That you would do anything for them. I think what Julian "stimulates" in me is this hopefulness. I can't wait to see him grow up. I can't help but to imagine what his future would be like. In the past I might think that it's ridiculous for certain parents to want their children be what they want them to be, to not make the same mistakes they made blah blah blah...I completely understand now. Babies are like blank pieces of paper. I can't help but see them as clays..that can be molded into the most beautiful thing on earth. It almost feels like I can right all my wrongs if this baby grows up to be a better person or more successful than I am.

Well, first of all, Julian isn't my son. So he's not going to be raised the way I would like to raise my future child. Second of all, the rational part of me knows that it isn't healthy to be over-controlling. People should let children grow up naturally, whatever that means.

It's hard. But I enjoy the moment.