can't help

Recently I just can't help but think about my future career choices....sorry to bother my nonexistent readers again and again with this mumbling. But today I found this college called New York School of Interior Design. It sounds interesting. Its courses sound very interesting. The application requires a portfolio, but I'm not a born artist or anything so I can't really draw...let a lone anything related to "interior decoration." But they also have a basic program for those ppl who got admitted without a portfolio of art works, in which they teach those ppl the basic stuff and the second year these ppl have an opportunity to apply for a higher program. It sounds like the sped program in the interior design world but seriously, I won't mind if I actually decide to go to that college. Those introductory courses sound interesting too, space planning and all.

Strangely, if someone asks me to be a nurse, I'd view that as a waste of my talent, but if I actually have the opportunity to become an interior designer, I don't think this way at all. In fact, I envy those artistic ppl who actually do interior design for a living. I wish I'm as talented as they are. ugh.

On the other hand I also looked up the lifes of epidemiologists. I think this is exactly what I want if I happen to be a doctor. It just sounds really interesting. It's like a battle...a mind game...between men and virus. It's great.

I really wish science was never among my career options. cuz if then I'd jump right into design without a second thought. Now I'm just a messed-up person.