Religion.

Sometimes I wonder what would I believe in if I were born into a religious family. Actually, my Buddhist grandparents were pretty religious. Not like crazy ritualistic, but they believe in those stuff, and pray to the Shengming, the gods, when needed--for their grandchildren's academics, their kids' health, wealth, etc. Buddhism has become some kind of custom in China, less of a religion but more of something that everyone more or less believes in. And then comes my parents, who do not reject Buddhist ideas but obviously much less religious than my grandparents. They see christians, especially those who preach around and spread the words of god, as insane. And that's mostly how I feel too.

Religion wasn't really part of my life until I came to America, when 95% of people around me are either christian catholic muslim or whatever (also for the first time I realize there are so many lefties and people with allergies in the world). Obviously I did not become religious or anything. Nowadays I try to rationalize my atheism with logic. Religion just sound so illogical to me. In fact, the word religion contradicts itself. How can there be multiple religions/gods if it's actually true? How can there be both the supreme and only GOD and numerous kamis in Japan...gods in animal forms in Aztec....Is Buddha a creation of the GOD too? Or are they friends in the place beyond? How can people convert, if they previously believe that their gods actually exist? Why do the god(s) have so many local characteristics? Buddha looks Indian, Jesus looks white, Hindu gods look...well, Indian too.

The only reasonable answer for me is that religion is something people made up. For what reason I can't say, but I firmly believe that religion is a product of human imagination. Some people claimed to NOT belong to any particular religion but believe in god as a supreme being that's behind what we have and are right now. My Muslim buddy Basma did not reject the Big Bang theory or other scientific things but she said that something/somebody must be behind all this...something/somebody must have caused our creation. I respect her point of view but WHY does something/somebody must cause our creation? Why can't our creation just be the result of a series of random events? Why can't people accept that human beings are not special, are not that different from other animals, plants, rocks, stars, which are also products of random events?

Anyways, recently I begin to wonder if there is indeed no god or anything like that, then what did Muhammad actually see in the cave? How did the prophets talk to god? If there is indeed no god, then the only reasonable conclusion is that they were hallucinating. They are sick. It is a scary thought that these great people are actually mentally ill, so are the others who claim to see/feel/hear god.

So being religious is actually the ultimate doublethink. One must accept the fact that there are people who believe in the existence of other gods or no gods at all and yet believe that his or her god exist at the same time.

That's an incredible skill that I do not have.