Reality check.

Barnard--and just NYC in general--really has a way of getting to you. The pea coats, the boots, the makeup (which I don't do because I don't know how)--in a population as diverse as the one in Barnard/New York, these are the things that girls from all different cultures share. I certainly do not object to this new and higher level of aesthetic awareness; I expected it and looked for it. Besides, this isn't even the point. I just don't know if NYC/Barnard is bringing me happiness at all. I'm not miserable. I'm quite happy with spending most of the time by myself doing things I particularly like without outside influence. I just feel like I can't connect with the campus or the people on the campus and something that should give me the deep satisfaction of a college life is seriously missing in action.